emotions

back and forth, round and round they go. what will happen this time? are we still good candidates for this? there has been no visible reason why this process shouldn't be working for us, so maybe this time?

we got some good prayer this week. the one praying said that she believes that we will have another baby within the year. and you know what? something beautiful jumped up inside of me and believed it.  maybe this time?

we are on schedule for the next cycle - you know, i can barely remember what it it felt like the just have a period. every one that i have had for the past 5 years has had some kind of hope, instructions, or dread attached to it. - this time, once my cycle starts, i will begin taking the medicine, which includes pushing a little bead in my nether regions three times a day. this is to build up my uterine lining and make it ready to hold a little baby. maybe this time.

it sure helps that every day i get to walk down the hall and hear my darling girl talking and cooing her little "come and get me" noises. so cute. thanks for her Lord, could we please have another?

here we go

today - thankfully - good news. we went in to check out a little polyp on my uterus - it was truly a little polyp - so the doctor actually knocked it off with the camera he was using. that was about as glamorous as it sounds. a scope about the diameter of a small straw poking around enough to knock of an internal skin tag. guess who forgot to take advil? yes, me, but i will tell you i was so glad to have the news that the polyp was small enough to deal with today, i would have put up with just about anything.

they were kind of surprised because i was laughing while it was happening. i assured them that it was my coping mechanism. i think i squeezed shawn's hand till it was white.

so my worst fear was that we were looking at another three months before we could do another transfer. now, we are looking at next month to see if this whole thing will work.

the other good news was that the doctor said my prognosis was really good. worth pursuing. our fear was that maybe i was getting into the category of those whom they are humouring. he assured us that we were looking good and we are definitely in the category of those who should keep pursuing this.

so a big whew! and hallelujah! thanks lord!